I’m Quite Happy Being Me

I’m quite happy being me. That probably sounds like a very simple thing to say, but I don’t think it’s something everyone can say comfortably. I don’t mean that I think I’m perfect. Far from it.

I have plenty of things that annoy me, plenty of things I could probably do better and, like everyone, I have my good days and my not-so-good days. But I’m comfortable being me.

I’ve always trusted myself. If someone gives me an opinion, I listen. I consider it. Sometimes I might think about it for quite a while. Other times I know fairly quickly whether it has any relevance to me.

But at the end of the day, I make my own decision. That’s always been important to me. I don’t need everyone to agree with me. I don’t need everyone to understand my choices. And I certainly don’t need to change who I am to make someone else more comfortable. 

I’ve come to appreciate this even more over the last nine years of running Sharz Art. One of the lovely things about working with children is that they generally don’t judge you in the same way adults do. They just accept you. I can relax around them and be myself. I think that’s one of the reasons I enjoy teaching so much.

There’s no need to put on a particular version of myself. I can just be Sharlene. I’ve also had the privilege of working with a lot of people with different needs and neurological differences, many of whom are dealing with things far more challenging than anything I’m dealing with. 

That has taught me something about judging people. You simply don’t know what someone else is carrying. You don’t know what their day has been like. You don’t know what they’re dealing with when they walk through the door. And because I don’t know their whole story, I don’t think it’s my place to judge them.

I suppose the other side of that is that I’ve realised I don’t really care that much if someone judges me either. That’s their business. I’m happy being me. That doesn’t mean I don’t care what people think at all.

I care very deeply about plenty of things. I care about the people I love. I care about my students. I care about doing a good job. I care about being kind. I care about making decisions that feel right to me.

What I don’t care about is whether someone else thinks those things should matter to me. There’s a difference.

I think I’ve also become better at choosing where I put my energy.  Things will always get under my skin. I’m not suddenly some zen person who floats through life without getting annoyed! But I’m learning that being angry or annoyed about things I can’t control is usually a wasted emotion. 

If I don’t let all the little things annoy me, then when something genuinely does upset me, I’m much less reactive. I have a bit more space to think about it. Sometimes there’s something I can do.  Sometimes there isn’t.  And if there isn’t, then there’s not much point in giving it all my energy.  That’s something I’m still working on, but I think I’m getting better at it.

I also think being comfortable with yourself doesn’t mean you stop listening to other people. Quite the opposite. I like hearing other people’s opinions. Someone might see something I haven’t considered. They might have a completely different perspective. They might even change my mind. I’m perfectly happy with that.

Listening doesn’t mean I have to agree. Considering someone’s opinion doesn’t mean I have to follow it. I can listen, think about it and then decide what feels right for me. I’ve always done that with my art. I’ve always created for myself.  For a long time I didn’t even publicly share much of what I made. My artwork was mine, and I didn’t need anyone else to approve of it for me to enjoy creating it. 

That’s still how I approach my creative work now. I’m only recently starting to share more of it, but that’s because I want to, not because I’ve suddenly decided I need other people to tell me it’s good.

I think that’s probably the biggest difference. I don’t need someone else to validate what I already know about myself. I’m Sharlene. This is who I am. Some people will like me. Some people won’t. Some people will understand my choices. Some won’t. Some people will agree with me. Some definitely won’t!

That’s okay. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and I’m quite comfortable with that.

I try not to judge other people, and I hope people don’t judge me. But if they do, I can’t control that. That’s their choice. 

What I can control is how I behave, where I put my energy and whether I’m happy with the person I am.

And I am.  I’m quite happy being me.